Patronus™
by That BrandGeek
A pixel-powered brand-building RPG (role-playing game, yes, really) disguised as a monthly subscription.
Built for overwhelmed visionaries, recovering perfectionists and big-hearted creatives who crave clarity over chaos and progress over perfection.
No fluff, no “guru” vibe. Just scrolls, strategy and serious brand glow-ups.
Your journey begins with a Quiz.
Discover your Brand Archetype, receive your first Scroll – Message in a Bottle – for FREE and enter the world of brand-building like you’ve never seen it before.
on your way to Brandia.
Somewhere between...
…burnout, a doom-scroll spiral and your 17th “maybe this’ll work” content draft… you heard it, a whisper in the algorithmic wind:
“Are you ready to lead your brand with purpose?”
And now?
You’re in a small boat, rocking gently toward Isla Initia, the place brand builders go when noise no longer works and clarity starts calling.
The waves shimmer with possibility. The air tastes like new beginnings.
And if you’re not mistaken, there’s a black cat tail flicking sassily beneath your last crate of oat milk and unmet potential.
They say this realm, Brandia, only appears when you’re truly ready.
Not to hustle harder.
Not to throw spaghetti at social media.
But to build something deeper.
Truer.
Unshakable.
Here, brands aren’t rushed into the void.
They’re built with intention. Slowly, strategically… on rock, not sand.
You’re not here by accident. You’ve been summoned.
Not to become a content machine, but a brand that makes people feel something.
You’re on your way to become an Adventurer, the hero of your own brand story.
And just between us?
Your Patronus is already watching.
Ready when you are.
what is Patronus?
This isn’t your average newsletter. This is a
brand-building RPG (role-playing game) disguised as an email subscription.
Think: clarity quests, scrolls, sass and strategy, all wrapped in pixel-chic packaging.
Every month, you, the Adventurer, will receive a Scroll from the Patronus, a mysterious guide who’s equal parts strategist, hype squad, and secret weapon.
Inside each Scroll:
A spicy, story-packed branding lesson that actually sticks (no fluff here)
A monthly Quest to sharpen your brand and expand your clarity
A simple, strategic Action Step you can take immediately to move your brand forward
A chance to earn treasure (points!) for every completed mission, redeemable for juicy bonuses!
Step into the land of Brandia,
Each mission builds your brand.
Each scroll shifts your strategy.
Every month = measurable momentum.
And the scroll delivery?
Handled by Luna, your resident scroll guardian, attitude expert and professional side-eye giver.
She’s snarky, she’s smart and yes, she might drop a side-quest (or three) if she’s in the mood.
And the scroll delivery?
Handled by Luna, your resident scroll guardian, attitude expert and professional side-eye giver.
She’s snarky, she’s smart and yes, she might drop a side-quest (or three) if she’s in the mood.
who is it for?
You need the Patronus if you’re a brand builder who’s tired of fluff, overwhelm and ready for momentum.
→ Newbies who just need a place to start (without drowning in info overload)
→ Creators and business owners who feel stuck, confused, or lowkey burnt out
→ Veteran entrepreneurs who are racing toward burnout and need simple clarity
→ Anyone who wants to build a brand with actual depth, consistency, and sass
You want to stay in the game. Lead the charge.
Not get stuck in outdated formulas and recycled advice.
You want real, bite-sized strategy. You want examples from real brands, not theory.
Patronus is for you if:
→ You want to stay ahead in the ever-changing world of digital branding
→ You’re done with sugar-coated “just be authentic” nonsense
→ You crave real, tangible action steps and not just philosophical fluff
→ You want to feel excited about building your brand again
how it works.
Step 1.
Take the Brand Archetype Quiz (It’s free, DUH)
Discover your Brand Archetype (with complete analysis) and unlock your first Scroll your “Message in a Bottle” straight from the Patronus.
Step 2.
join the realm
If you love what you see? Subscribe, log in and step into your Adventurer role in this brand-building RPG. You’ll unlock your Brand Archetype Badge, claim your avatar, and prep your Treasure Chest. It’s giving “main character.”
Step 3.
complete monthly scrolls
Every month, receive practical, story-fueled scrolls packed with strategy, quests, and high-impact brand moves.
Step 4.
earn treasures
Submit your completed quests by the end of the month to earn points and rise on the Adventurer Leaderboard (yes, that’s real. Yes, Luna’s watching.)
Step 5.
unlock rewards
Trade treasure at the Merchant’s Market for juicy perks:
→ Q&A access
→ Seasonal online workshops
→ Secret scrolls
… and other surprises as the Patronus and Luna see fit 😏
Step 6.
explore the lore
Side-quests. Map events. Luna’s moods. This realm is alive and it’s waiting for you to play.
pricing.
Patronus
for €15 per month
No tricks. No fluff. Just scrolls, quests and serious brand glow-ups.
What you get:
1 Story-Fueled Scroll per month
Treasure Tracker + Custom Adventurer Profile
Collectible Badges + Access to the Leaderboards
Luna’s bonus chaos, sass and the occasional side quest
First Scroll (Message in a Bottle) + Brand Archetype Quiz → totally FREE
Unlock more rewards in exchange for treasures. Workshops, Q&As, secret scrolls, discounts — the deeper you go, the more you gain.
Cancel anytime. We don’t do shady business. But heads up: once a scroll is sent, that month counts.
Unopened scrolls and ghosted invoices = no refunds. Fair’s fair and Luna has receipts.
What type of Brand Builder are you?
This quiz is your gateway to the Realm.
Take the “What Kind of Brand Builder Are You?” quiz to:
Uncover your Brand Archetype
Unlock your first scroll: Message in a Bottle
A chance to officially step inside Brandia, the Patronus’ world
Your journey doesn’t start with a payment.
It starts with a scroll and a spark.
Begin your journey.
Patronus™
brand-building RPG
by That BrandGeek